Dumbest Person Ever?

I think I have just read the dumbest thing ever written. I am still hoping it’s satire, but haven’t found anything to confirm that. I’m afraid this moron was serious. It seems a writer for the Independent Florida Alligator, the student paper for the University of Florida, wrote a post stating that a woman who defended herself and her two children from a burglar by shooting him, went too far and could have easily avoided the break-in by just, wait for it… ANSWERING HER DOOR. Yeah, that’s right. Had she only let the criminal know she was home? He would have just left because he was obviously looking for an EMPTY house. Check out this nonsense:

 

You may have heard about it: A lady was hiding in her attic from a burglar with her two kids and her Saturday night special when he used a crowbar to bust in on them. So she did what she had to do. Next thing you know, the creeper with them two feets who came a-creepin’ like a black cat do is on the floor full of .38 holes.

There’s an important aspect of this story I need to draw attention to at this point because it perplexes the hell outta me: He didn’t mean to violently intrude upon this family.

The guy shows up knocking at the door, ostensibly to sell them some encyclopedias or crowbars or something.

No answer. So he rings the doorbell a bunch of times, and instead of answering the door or somehow asking him what he wants, they hide and call the cops!

Now that he’s satisfied that no one is home, he begins liberating the family’s belongings in the name of the proletariat. Like any good burglar, he’s thorough, working through every room in the house until he eventually reaches the attic.

He opens the door, and suddenly a relatively harmless cat burglary becomes a violent home invasion.

Seriously??!?! WTF is that???!

Whatever this person is smoking? I want some. Now. I mean, the women doesn’t answer her door to a stranger, hides with her two children because she obviously feels something isn’t right, and then shoots him only when he actually gets near them and that’s somehow her fault? Please.

I am still praying this is somehow a satire piece. If it isn’t and this is the kind of minds our colleges and universities are creating? America is doomed.