Forward

For some, forward is a position that you can play on in various sports. For Obama’s campaign, “Forward” is the slogan under which the next election will be won, something that would allow the Biden four more years of making proclamations and speeches to which even Newt pales in comparison. The Democrats have reason to be optimistic. After all, when Obama descended upon the land promising hope and change many found it impossible to resist the charisma of the once community organizer turned junior Senator. Greek columns and lavish promises of healing the oceans all seemed to be part of the show.

But the Chosen One embarked on his re-election campaign with a daunting task ahead of him. The economy is barely chugging along, analysts are warning of another recession, and Congress has seemed unwilling to go along with his recent ideas. His campaign searched for slogan that would allow the show to go on for four more years. Ideally, the slogan should breathe optimism and once again inspire voters to put their faith in the man they once voted for, but produced rather mediocre results. The result of their search is “Forward”. A simple, one-word slogan with a powerful message. Who doesn’t want to move forward?

Forward, to new types of fuel that will replace the outdated fuels Americans waste when filling up cars and heating buildings. Take the subway to work, fill your car up with algae, replace your old light bulbs. If you’re lucky, you might be rewarded with a small diet Coke personally delivered by the First Dietist and Mayor Bloomberg. That these new “green” policies mainly help Democratic campaign donors is a merry coincidence. Besides, if you’re enlightened enough to support the Messiah you might as well get something in return.

Forward, with haste, to four years of economic recovery. The economy is not growing as fast expected and unemployment remains high, but the American public should have faith. Four years of expanded government programs, higher taxes, more regulations, bailouts, and record deficits will cure America’s economic woes.

Don’t ask if you’re better off today than four years ago. Instead, look to the future and move forward together with the President. Forward to an America with more of the same. But this time it’s different, this time it will work. At least, that’s what the Campaigner-in-Chief and his campaign staffers are hoping for.