Racebusters: Xzibit is a Social Commentator and Deep Thinker

Racebusters spends a lot of time monitoring the Twitter timeline and pointing out the obvious racism that exists in any opposition to President Obama, his policies, or his supporters. Trust me, no matter what you say about any of these groups, even if it’s not about these groups, like a good liberal, I’ll find the racism in it! The Race Card: Don’t Leave Home Without It!

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Thank goodness Xzibit came to the rescue on this whole “planking issue.” You see, Mr. Zibit
pointed out that “planking” was an act that just had to be related to slavery. He alerted the world
that “Planking was a way to transport slaves on ships during the slave trade, its not funny.
Educate.” He knew that there was no way that is could possibly be a Yoga pose or even one
of the top rated ab exercises that just took off as a way for people to have fun. No, because its
origins came from slavery, obviously this must be racist. Of course, this deep social thinker was
careful enough not to say that, but when this intellectual giant says “not funny” we all know what
he means. After “X to the Z Xzibit” made this brave stand, I thought I should point out some of
the other all-time great social commentary this hero uses to “educate.” Let’s have a look:

Here’s a tribute to the plight of women from his song “X:”

“Bitches be quick to give me brains while I post the range
Going up and down my dick like the stock exchange.”

Another example of his belief in the equality of women from “Choke Me, Spank Me Pull
My Hair:”

I work hard when I’m breakin’ your back, my lil’ nyphomaniac
Suck it, swallow it, down the hatch…”

And then, Professor Xzibit provides a history lesson for us all in his song “Rollin:”

Then I pray, Our Father who art in Heaven
Got people jumpin’ out the buildin’ like 9/11
Malcolm X to the Z landin’ on them like Plymouth Rock (yeah!)

As you can see, Mr. Xzibit is really a deep thinker who should be taken very seriously. His above
social commentaries provide an insight into the likes of a social hero that may be on the level of
Gandhi or Mother Teresa. In fact, I am calling on President Barack Obama and Vice-President
Joe Biden to proclaim today “National Xzibit Day.”

This is a man whose clear goal is to merely educate the masses as you can see in his heroic speeches above. I understand that giving
someone a whole day may be tough, so perhaps they could just invite him to the next White
Poetry Hour? Hopefully some kids will be there to here the positive message this American Hero
speaks.

Note: This is clearly humor. If you’re confused by that or offended call 1 (800) SHRINKS-R-US. If you find it hilarious, you can catch more and send your own questions on twitter by following@racebusters.